My Insomnia Is Getting Really Bad Again
It’s been more than a week since I have been able to fall asleep before the sun rises. I am drinking a lot every day, too much. It’s becoming a problem again. When a few whiskey drinks allows me to cope with seeing the sun rise and set every fucking day. Seeing every phase of the moon. The lines between dream, reality, and pure fabrication are becoming blurred, and I am afraid that soon I won’t be able to tell the difference at all. My roommate and I are talking about sobering up for a week or two and going on a juice & raw binge. We’ve reached why I am scared. I’ve slept like shit for the last week. The first few days of sobriety for me equal weakness, shakes, no sleep, paranoia, aggression, depression, bitterness, and general discomfort (it feels like my insides are too big for my outsides). These four days are going to be hell. Luckily I have two of them off from work. I will spend them in bed, seeing shadows in the corner of my eyes. Cuddling with my dog. Drinking orange juice and lemonade. Watching movies.
I have to do something or not sleeping is going to kill me.
